The Art of Christian Listening (Part 2 of 2)

Here are some practical tips for listening better, supported by scripture. The scriptural backing is key here. Why? Because nearly everybody would agree with these general rules I’m recommending, but only the Christian worldview provides us with a consistent theological foundation for these attitudes and actions.

Do this:

1) Show respect. Naturally, we should all believe that the purpose of evangelism and dialogue with others is not simply to have a shouting match, granted. But too often (and I know this to be true of myself) apologists can come off as smug and not grant the unbeliever a fair hearing. Not only is the person we’re talking to created in the image of God (Gen. 1:26-27), that is to say, what God is without a body, we are with bodies, but in 1 Peter 3:15 commands us not only to be ready to defend the faith, but to do so with “gentleness and respect.” God commands that we respect even those that may potentially harm us (cf. vs. 14, 17). We do this to in order to “[keep] a clear conscience” that testifies to God’s wisdom (v. 16).

2) Sympathetically listen to other points of view. One criticism I’ve heard leveled against Christians is that because they claim they know the “truth” they are negatively dogmatic and arrogant. Is this true? Well, it can be of some people. But the truth (!) is that people don’t become arrogant because they believe the gospel of Christ, it’s because they don’t believe the gospel enough! When we’re captured by the vision the Bible portrayal of our need of divine aid, we realize that we’re not delivered because we’re wiser, or more spiritual, or more ethical than anyone else. And because we’re Christians by grace, we should expect that others (believers and unbelievers alike) to see things and know things that we don’t, because it’s not our wits that “got us in” in the first place!

See also, Wanted: Truth AND Charity!

3) Follow the other person’s argument. Being that we are created in the image of God, we are rational beings. We simply resist the notion of believing something completely willy-nilly. We need some rationale, some reasons for committing ourselves to some worldview or other. If in an actual discussion about Christianity and another worldview, make sure you pay close attention to their rationale for believing what they do. Think through their major claims, minor claims, throw-away arguments (arguments that only “preach to the choir”), evidence, etc. The truth is, most of the time, the other person hasn’t self-consciously thought through these things. But it’s our job to help them do so.

4) Assess claims. This picks up from point 3. Now that you’ve heard and listened carefully to there points, are they true? Are they false? Are they completely false, or is there some good to be built upon? What are the underlying assumptions of what they’re saying?

5) Ask questions. Doing this will both clear up anything that’s still fuzzy in your mind about what they said, as well as create an opportunity for the person you’re speaking to to refine their beliefs in light of your questions and objections. All throughout the gospels, Jesus asks insightful questions both to make points and to clarify the positions held by others. We’d do well to follow His example.